by: Luis H. Garay
Barbie is having an existential crisis
on the dance floor
and I walked out with red tennis
shoes on the way to work.
July has been the longest month
of my life and
I am playing Traumazine again,
today I am the right face.
I don’t always remember the drives
the music is loud but I don’t hear it,
my car has crossed the double
yellow lines on the left side again.
I am at home tonight because
I don’t have money to be social,
my TV plays another YouTube video,
it auto plays for the next 2 hours.
I log in for therapy and wait for
the black screen to turn into
my therapist’s office, thinking how
I don’t want to be in therapy today.
Solange said she tried to
work it away,
and I just want to
grande-caramel-frap it away.
The world is burning,
literally, record temperatures
because global warming is no longer
global boiling is the reality.
The aliens are here and
they just want to dance to ‘‘Alien Superstar’,
do you think it was the beacon they
were looking for this whole time?
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I play Madonna club remixes for energy.
I am driving for Uber to
make extra money,
I spritz my car with slay spray
the cinnamon smell now a comfort.
A year and a half later,
I start And Just Like That
The first season was horrible
why was Carrie in that giant coat in the snow?
The last 5 days I’ve walked past my parents’
plant they gifted me, the leaves droopy.
It needs to be replanted but
I start forgetting it is there.
I’m scrolling TikTok again,
have you seen the Hamster Rave lives?
It activates the happy
part of my brain for a moment.
I started a book (again)
and didn’t finish it (again),
the only books I seem to be able
to finish are poetry books.
Beyonce’s Renaissance,
Megan’s Trauma,
and Janelle’s Pleasure
the first three words you see describe July.
After six months I start a project
due in 10 days,
I tricked my brain last weekend
and activated fear to start it.
Twister meows more than he should,
we agree to take him to the vet
a $390 vet bill and now
a $90/month shot for joint pain relief.
I am scared.
I tell myself to make it to mid-September
and after the mountains
and after the friends,
what’s next?
Barbie asks an existential question
on the dance floor
and the answer is
yes.